It was less than two months to go before my big ride down the Pacific Coast. Gosh, this ride meant so much more to me than just getting on my bike and conquering 1845 miles in six weeks. I was seeking solitude and healing, soul-searching and exploration. It was the last piece of my Memoir. It was to bring major awareness to rare Pituitary diseases. It was a necessary escape for me. It was my comeback from a 2018 diagnosis.
Alas, it was time to make the call to cancel the trip. There would be too much uncertainty around the route and what to expect, and not just with Covid, but with my current health.
I went from training as hard as I could, anticipating enlightenment, and open to new possibilities to "Now what?!" and a feeling of loss and being lost.
I crawled into my closet and sobbed for 55 minutes. I allowed the tears to drench my face and my t-shirt. There are worse things, I know this. But for this moment of time, I allowed myself to feel shattered. What am I without these goals, without a mission, without direction? More importantly, who am I?
I quickly shifted gears. If I wanted to survive this blow, I had to find something new to focus on, something else that I am passionate about, something else that feels filling and meaningful to me. I turned to creativity. Immersing myself in creativity has been transformative for me. Why not offer this opportunity to others? This is where you'll find my workshop creation around Voice and Story; finding ones Voice to share their gift in words to the world, a story worth being heard. Along with my workshop, I create Voice and Story sticks which are personalized symbols for those finding their voice and courage to share what they hold meaningful and valuable with the world.
Although, you won't be finding me pedaling down the Pacific Coast this Fall, I will still be on my bike and shifting gears to stay in the positive lane. Stay tuned as I continue on the road to Riding for Rare Disease. And CLICK HERE to learn more about my Voice and Story sticks and workshop.